Sarcasm is a great way to add some humor and wit to your text conversations. It’s a way to make a joke without necessarily saying something outright funny. If you’re looking for some sarcastic things to say over text to make your friends laugh out loud, you’re in the right place. Here are 25 sarcastic things to say over text that will surely make your friends laugh.
Sarcasm about everyday situations
“Oh great, another day to be productive and achieve all my goals. Said no one ever.”
“Wow, the weather is so perfect today. I’m totally going to go outside and enjoy it. Said no one with allergies.”
“Oh good, I’m running late. That’s exactly how I wanted to start my day.”
“Yay, another meeting. My favorite part of the workday.”
“Why do people always assume I’m not busy just because I’m not in the office? I can be productive from my couch, thank you very much.”
Sarcasm about social media
“I love when people post pictures of their food on social media. It’s like, thanks for the virtual dinner invitation I didn’t ask for.”
“Why do people post pictures of themselves at the gym? It’s not like we all didn’t know you were going to the gym. You said it in your Instagram caption.”
“Ugh, another day of scrolling through my feed and seeing nothing but engagement announcements and baby pictures. #blessed”
“Why do people post pictures of their pets with captions like ‘my best friend’? Like, are you trying to tell me your dog is better than me?”
“Why do people post pictures of themselves with celebrities? Like, congrats on getting a picture with someone who gets paid to take pictures with people.”
Sarcasm about relationships
“Oh good, another romantic comedy where the lead character is completely unrealistic and sets the bar way too high for actual relationships.”
“Why do people always say ‘communication is key’ in relationships? Like, it’s not like we’re supposed to be honest with each other or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘love is blind’? Like, it’s not like we’re supposed to be attracted to someone or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘treat them how you want to be treated’? Like, it’s not like we’re supposed to be decent human beings or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘actions speak louder than words’? Like, it’s not like we’re supposed to follow through on our promises or anything.”
Sarcasm about everyday annoyances
“Oh great, another day of traffic. My favorite part of the day.”
“Why do people always say ‘it’s the little things that matter’? Like, it’s not like I want a decent wage or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘patience is a virtue’? Like, it’s not like I want things to happen in a timely manner or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘good things come to those who wait’? Like, it’s not like I want instant gratification or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘it’s the journey, not the destination’? Like, it’s not like I want to get where I’m going or anything.”
Sarcasm about life in general
“Why do people always say ‘enjoy the little things in life’? Like, it’s not like I want anything big or extravagant.”
“Why do people always say ‘live in the moment’? Like, it’s not like I want to plan for the future or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘be present’? Like, it’s not like I want to daydream or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘follow your dreams’? Like, it’s not like I want to be practical or anything.”
“Why do people always say ‘never give up’? Like, it’s not like I want to give up and do nothing with my life.”
Conclusion
Sarcasm can add a little bit of humor to any text conversation. Whether you’re talking about everyday situations, social media, relationships, annoyances, or life in general, there’s always room for a little bit of sarcastic wit. So next time you’re texting with your friends, try out one of these 25 sarcastic things to say and watch the laughter unfold.
