Here are 25 sarcastic things you can say to your ex that will leave them speechless:
On the Breakup
“I’m so glad we broke up because now I can use my middle finger to text you instead of my index finger.”
“I guess I should thank you for breaking up with me. It was starting to feel like I was the only one putting in effort.”
“The only thing I regret about our breakup is that I wasted so much time on someone who turned out to be a complete idiot.”
“I’m sorry, were you planning on telling me you wanted to break up, or were you just going to ghost me like a coward?”
“Well, I guess it’s official: you’re the first person in history to break up with someone over text and still manage to come off as a complete jerk.”
On Moving On
“I’m sorry, were you hoping for a dramatic reaction to the breakup? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m too busy living my best life to waste time on you.”
“I didn’t realize I was still holding onto any feelings for you until I saw your name pop up on my phone and felt absolutely nothing.”
“I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed that you’re not begging me to take you back. I was really looking forward to turning you down.”
“I’m glad we broke up because now I have time to focus on the things that are actually important in life, like Netflix and ice cream.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in getting back together. I’m too busy upgrading to someone who actually treats me with respect.”
On Their Flaws
“I can’t believe I wasted so much time on someone who was clearly never ready for a real relationship.”
“I’m sorry, I must have missed the part where you became a decent human being.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t see all of your flaws sooner. It’s almost like you were really good at hiding them.”
“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten that you were still stuck in the Stone Age with your outdated beliefs and behavior.”
“I can’t believe I put up with all of your drama for so long. No wonder I’m exhausted all the time.”
On Moving Forward
“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in revisiting the past. I’m too busy building a future for myself.”
“I guess I should thank you for showing me that I deserve better than what you were offering.”
“I can’t believe I was so blinded by love that I didn’t see all of the red flags. Oh well, live and learn.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in getting back together. I have too much self-respect to settle for less than I deserve.”
“I’m glad we broke up because now I have the opportunity to find someone who actually makes me happy.”
Whether you’re feeling angry, hurt, or just want to get a rise out of your ex, these sarcastic remarks are sure to leave them speechless. Just remember to use them sparingly and in a healthy way, as they may not be appropriate in all situations.
